Thursday, December 13, 2012

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda....

Hey everyone!!  I have been taking a moment to peek at the blog posts and respond when I can because I have been so busy with finals this semester.  As I peeked, I noticed a recurring theme.  A theme that, I, too, have been entertaining on so many levels so I decided I get to nip this in the bud...TODAY and move forward.  It seems like they need a 12 Step Program for New Home Construction Builders because I realize I have agonized and gave importance to a few things and cried over other things and jumped for joyed for a lot of things.  Honestly, I guess this blog is that program because it gave us all the opportunity to share our ups and downs with so many people that we may never meet in person but have had the opportunity to connect with in this forum.  Hopefully, some of us will stay connected and not disappear as I have seen so many others do.  

Anyway, the intention of this blog is for everyone to take the opportunity to 
of what they shoulda, coulda, woulda have done had they known while building their new dream homes plus an opportunity to express an attitude of gratitude for the things they did get.  I thought this would be awesome because it could heal so many at one time and also support those people who will be building afterwards and use this post as a learning forum.  Simply just respond in the comment section with your list.

So here is my list:
 I should have made sure I understood the dynamics of picking the exterior colors of our home instead of being concerned that the meeting was becoming lengthy. 
I wish I could have picked the colors I really wanted in that meeting instead of regretting the colors that I have that I can't do anything about at this time.
I wish I would have stopped our SR and made sure I knew all the options for picking the exterior colors of our home based on the options I had with black shutters/doors because only I knew of one at the time that she pointed out but there were so many others.
I wish I could have picked the Stone Mountain Clay siding at that initial meeting for our siding color but when I found out the scheme wasn't what I wanted it was too late because you can't pick the color of the home to the left or right or across the street from your home.
I wish I could have submitted the metal ballisters as a non standard request but did not know I could have done so when we sat at the table the first day or any day after before the deadline.
I wish I could have submitted the 15 lite panel doors as a non standard request because I have learned they hang differently from the standard doors and now I must order the doors later but my new home will be altered because of it.
I wish I would have not listened to our SR when she said, just get the doors from Lowes instead of from us.  Big mistake!
I wish I would have submitted the non standard request to have the brick continue around the entire garage instead of listening to our SR and DH say don't worry about it.  Ugghh

Here is my what I am grateful for:
I am grateful to God for making this dream a reality.
I am grateful for building this new home that my husband and I get to move into as our "forever home" as empty nesters.
I am grateful for the support of Ryan Homes and their flexibility to do whatever it took to approve our loan to build this home.
I am grateful for building this new foundation with my husband of 13 years come February 28, 2013.
I am grateful for the perfect model and floor plan called the Rome to meet our needs and function according to our lifestyle.
I am grateful for so much livable square footage that the Rome offers and the lower price it cost us.
I am grateful for an excellent interest rate.
I am grateful that we survived the 6 month underwriting process. Wheww...that was rough!
I am grateful that I learned the true virtue of patience.
I am grateful for all the non standard requests that were approved for our home.
I am grateful to have a wonderful RH building team at Fairwood.
I am grateful that I was able to use my interior design vision to implement into the structure of the home.
I am grateful for our soon-to-be new neighbors we met and the opportunity to  to fellowship together once we move into the community.
I am grateful for having the opportunity to take advantage of the "Home of the Month" special for the lot and model we had chosen which gave us a total of 65K work of incentives.  
I am grateful that LOT#28  and the Rome model we had chosen were still available and came with these huge incentives when we  finally qualified in January which was the Home of the Month special.  Our timing was impeccable!! God is good!!
I am grateful for being able to drive by often to check on the status of our home on a daily basis because it's only 5 minutes away.
I am totally grateful for this blog because it was through this blog that I learned so much about the home building process.
I am grateful for the wonderful people I have met on this blog and the opportunity to share what I have learned and for others to share what they have learned--priceless!!!
I am grateful for God's provision for us to build our new home.
I am grateful for to put the things we did get can be implemented after settlement without no one telling us what we cannot do.  
I am grateful for having an attitude of gratitude for all the wonderful things we have in this new home to share with my DH, family and friends.
 I am grateful to have a new home to move into on January 11 with all the beautiful options/upgrades/non standard requests that we picked and to have the perfect floor plan called the Rome!

Lastly, I am grateful, in advance, for our settlement moving easily and effortlessly!!


  1. I'm sure this will change for me as the process continues, but here goes nothing!

    What I am grateful for:
    I am grateful that we got approved for our loan.
    I am grateful we don't have too many "shoulda's"
    I am grateful that I have an amazing SR and PM.
    I am grateful to my family for helping us where ever they could.
    I am grateful for the opportunity to have my very first home be a new home, with all of the things I could ever want in a first home.
    I am grateful for having the opportunity to share my experiences with the blogoshpere.

    My Shoulda's:
    I should have asked more questions about options in the initial contract process.
    I should have picked the upgraded cabinets instead of the carpet.

    So far I have no regrets. THANK GOD!

  2. Great post, Nadase. I know that I am one who ALWAYS thinks of the shoulda, coulda, woulda's.. This makes me stop for a minute and be EXTREMLY greatful to God for making this dream a reality.

    Thank you for reminding me of that.

    My list: I wish I had stood my ground and not allowed my SR to rush me through the sales portion of the deal. There were a lot of questions that went unanswered simply because, at the time, I did not know what to ask.

    Although I love the Model I'm building, I wish I had stuck with the model I originally fell in love with. Honestly, I chose this house because it is the only house that would "fit" on the lot.

    I wish I had asked what the deal was with my lot that prevented me from having a morning room. I really wanted that morning room.

    I wish I had asked for a detailed walkthrough of the selection sheet. It's not all plain english. I missed a lot of features that I would love to have, but could live without.

    I wish I had put those Scottsdale Maple Espresso Cabinets in my kitchen instead of listening to my mom who said it would be too dark :) I drool everytime I see them in your blogs.

    I am grateful that I am able to own my home (in 30 years, LOL) and no longer be throwing away the mortgage payment in monthly rent.

    I am grateful that with all the doubts and fears of going into the deal, God reminded me that what he has for me, is for me. Everytime I felt discouraged something popped up to remind me to have faith (like winning $2,000 in FREE FURNITURE, like catching mistakes that may result in money back at closing)

    I am grateful that my family has a place to plant our roots and to be able to feel at home and customize as we please (apartment living just doesn't feel like home).

    I'm gratful that I have a place to fellowship with friends & family.

    I'm grateful for the LO who knew how bad I wanted this and made sure it happened.

    I am grateful for the support of the RH Blogger Community. I have learned so much and met some great people. Even new neighbors (Hi Steve & Ericka) Sometimes folks dont want to hear about the progress of your house every day, all day, but I know you guys are just as excited as I am.

    I am grateful that for my first home, it is one I chose, and customized to my liking. Everyone told me that building a home would be too much for a first purchase.. glad I did'nt listen.

  3. We have been in our Ravenna for two weeks now and LOVE it. I obsessed over all of the blogs for the past 6 months worrying that I didn't do something I should have done, second guessing our choices, worried my house would be "pink" after reading all of the negative posts about Autumn Beige. In the end, we are happy with every single one of our color choices and would not change a thing. In fact, our SR was disappointed we are moving in because she can no longer walk people through our house as examples :) We have one of the first cottage elevations in our neighborhood - and the only Ravenna with this elevation - which we are thrilled about as it looks totally different than everyone else on the street and cul de sac.

    Of course, there are things that could have been smoother. Luckily, our SR and PM are awesome and they honored every single verbal commitment they had made...and if something could not be done then we were offered upgrades to "make us happy." For example, our SR was originally told that our neighborhood would have aggregate driveways as standard (like the model - we were one of the first to buy after the model was done). However, this was changed at some point but not communicated to our SR. When we notice other houses going in with concrete driveways we brought this to her attention and she went to bat for us and even though it was not written anywhere, we got the $3500 upgrade to aggregate because this is what she told us. Same with some changes to the basement wall we wanted (door instead of window). We were told it could be done, but it turns out the plans had already been submitted and everything would have to be redrawn and submitted. So it could not be done - but they offered about $5,000 in upgrades to again "make us happy." Our PM said he would vent our range hood outside, even though it isn't standard, and he did. He also fixed some things with cable placement (at no charge) after our pre-drywall meeting that was clearly our fault. They were both awesome. We were also able to walk through whenever we wanted - he just asked we didn't go when they were working - which wasn't a problem. We usually came by on Sunday afternoons. And our PM was open to us asking about stuff we saw on our walk-throughs too.

    If you aren't sure about your SR and PM, then I would definitely follow-up any requests that might not be obvious on your selection sheet (or even if they are) with an email summarizing your discussions and any changes so that you have a record. We did not have an issue with this, but a less experienced SR might not be willing to go to bat for you without a record.

    As for NVR Financial - a pain for sure. But this process takes long - so any mortgage company makes you give all of the paperwork twice. I just would have liked to have known ahead of time to keep track of EVERY deposit over $800 or you will spend hours at the back trying to track ATM deposits. Also, if you don't use NVR settlement and use your own lawyer, make sure they are aware (multiple times) from the beginning. I think had I had to tell them about 5 times we had our own lawyer and were not using NVR settlement.

    Also, my advice is to go for the tile as the upgrade if it is anywhere able in your budget! We did not initially do this and ended up doing it as one of our "make us happy." But we are SO THANKFUL we did. The couple thousand we were trying to save would definitely NOT have been worth it in the long run.

    Overall, we are very happy with our Ryan Homes experience. Unfortunately, I worry that it might take me as long to unpack my boxes as it did for them to build the whole house!!!


  4. Thanks for your posts ladies. I am in the initial stages... just signed the contract and THEN they gave me 12 legal paper size pages of additional options for the house that we did not review prior to signing the purchase agreement... oh and my flooring upgrade estimate was $6K less than what I selected at Rite Rug. My SR does not seem to think there is any issue on his side. Just wish there was a lot more honesty upfront from RH. I thought I had selected the appropriate upgrades prior to the contract and am having quite a shock at the real prices and the items I did not know I needed to upgrade!

    Thanks again for the posts!

    1. Hi Nikki, I am so sorry to hear about this--it is very frustrating when you are making decisions without knowing all the details. Are you blogging? How can we follow your blog? What type of home and where are you building?

      I would love to follow your journey and watch you build your new dream home. Just click on the join this site button and add it to your blog too so others can follow as well.

      Remember to check if you can make any changes--there is a window for changes and if there is something totally important you can change it with a small fee.